Why Train With Me

For sure you have been confronting questions like “how to rekindle with my wife”, “how to reignite the passion”, “why the attraction fades away after a few years of marriage”, “how to stop the accusations and critiques”, “my wife is never satisfied with me, she is always frustrated”.

Skipping the classical advice of couples therapy (as I don’t want to insult your intellect with cliché ideas like “have meaningful discussions”, “try doing new hobbies together”, or “organise date nights to spend time without the children”), and based on many contemporary researches regarding romantic happiness, we can conclude the following six takeaways:

1. Men need dopamine and women need oxitocin for healthy brain chemistry.
2. For long-term union in a couple, the goal is to merge the right hemisphere.
3. To understand that for women intimacy comes as a result of emotional closeness, while men search for physical intimacy in order to feel connected.
4. The “how” and the “when” matter in communication.
5. Physical intimacy needs to be fulfilling and cannot be replaced by any other aspects.
6. Each of us has one of twelve fundamental, archetypal roles we need to feel we are fulfilling through our relationship.

1. Men need dopamine and women need oxitocin
For healthy brain chemistry, these hormones are “obtained” through very different types of activities. Dopamine is secreted as a reward for successfully solving tasks, which is why it is often said that men are problem solvers. They feel useful, wanted, needed, and valuable when they can fulfill the role of Protector and Provider.

Women need the hormone of connection, which can be secreted while sharing activities with their partner in a safe and pleasant context. This allows women to express their joy of life, authentic playfulness, and spontaneity.

2. For long-term union in a couple, the goal is to merge the right hemisphere
This means having discoveries and fun activities together — not just traveling to a new location, but sharing new experiences that bring mutual excitement.

3. For women, intimacy unfolds through emotional closeness, while men search for physical intimacy
Both approaches are valid, as they represent two different ways of experiencing love. However, when rebuilding closeness, it is more effective to discover the most efficient strategy rather than insisting on personal preferences.

4. The “how” and the “when” matter in communication
We can discover which expressions our beloved reacts badly to, and also learn which words of encouragement can make a beneficial difference when expressed not only during heated conversations, but also during more difficult periods.

Every adult has an inner child that seeks acceptance and safety, and for each of us, a conscious partner can become a safety vest during moments of doubt.

5. Physical intimacy needs to be fulfilling and cannot be replaced
Recently, many people speak about love languages, and it is indeed useful to understand their value. However, the intimacy aspect of a relationship often determines its degree of fulfillment. It is commonly said that when intimacy is satisfying, it represents about 20% of a relationship’s success, but when it is not, it accounts for up to 80% of its problems.

Making love is the most complex way of sharing ourselves with our beloved, and every touch we offer outside of these privileged moments of erotic intimacy has the potential to become a reminder of safety, trust, attraction, and fulfillment. Touch and massage are far more than tools of pleasure or affection; when applied consciously, they can become powerful healing instruments for both partners, leading to deeper and healthier love experiences.

6. The twelve fundamental, archetypal roles
We need to feel we are fulfilling this subconscious desire of the soul through our relationships. Knowing our own archetype, as well as our partner’s, is essential to achieve reciprocal fulfillment, as misunderstandings can unintentionally block the development of these roles.

In conclusion, all six approaches provide valuable insights for building a fulfilling relationship.

Finally, esoteric psychology suggests that there are several forms of love. We begin with adolescent love, filled with hopes, butterflies, and subconscious projections. With every disappointment, however, we gain the opportunity to discover aspects of ourselves — fears, insufficiencies — and gradually evolve. Through this process, we can learn to love in a deeper and more complex way, with greater understanding, compassion, patience, and even selflessness, free from expectations.